Mohammed Can Go To Hell

Ok, so this is a politically incorrect post.  I am writing it in response to the killings in France, which appear to have been the work of Muslim extremists.  If that turns out not to be the case — well, I still will not retract it, because it is time to get beyond the idea that the West should be silent with respect to Islam. I believe that Mohammed is now nothing but dust, and I do not believe hell exists, but if it did, I would say it is a good place for terrorists who commit atrocities in the name of “the prophet.”

Islam might have seemed to make sense in the seventh century when it was new, but in the twenty first century, it is time to say that it is a bunch of nonsense.  The state of human knowledge has moved on, and it is time to relegate Islam to the trash heap of history.

Of course, I can write this in comfort, because it is not very likely that al-Qaeda or ISIS or other idiot members of Muslim terrorist groups are reading this blog, and even if they were, I am writing under a pseudonym.  But hats off to writers and journalists who work for major publications like Charlie Hebdo who risk life and limb as they try to shine a light on the dark corners of our world.

Behold, the Depths of Absurdity!

The truth has come out people, the conspiracy has been unmasked!

This wonderfully stupid woman–who appears to be all those stupid “dumb blonde” jokes rolled into a single, annoyingly religious woman–has finally uncovered the truth behind Monster Energy Drink…it was brought to us by Satan!

The three claw marks that are supposed to represent Monster’s “M” are actually made up of the Hebrew letter “vav” three times.  Oh, hold up; in Hebrew, 666 would be written סרתו.

But wait, there’s less!  The line going through the O in Monster, it’s a cross.  At first our friend thought they were a Christian company, until she saw ad campaigns such as “Big fucking can” and “MILFs love it,” which she feels aren’t exactly God-fearing sentiments.  That’s when she realized–oh no wait, the other thing–pulled out of her ass the explanation that, when turned upside down, the O with a line through it makes a witch symbol.

Bottoms up, get it?  Eh!?  EH!?

And then, of course, Monster’s slogan “Unleash the Beast!”  As in the biblical Beast?  Coincidence or Satan?  Seeing as how that may be one of the most quoted action-y lines in history, it must, of course, be Satan.


At a Loss for Words…

Many of you are aware of Brittany Maynard, the woman with the malignant glial blastoma who moved with her husband from California to Oregon in order to end her life on her own terms.  Well, the Vatican has condemned her.  On WEIT, Jerry Coyne has reproduced a portion of the Vatican’s “Declaration on Euthanasia, which reads in part:

“. . . According to Christian teaching, however, suffering, especially suffering during the last moments of life, has a special place in God’s saving plan; it is in fact a sharing in Christ’s passion and a union with the redeeming sacrifice which He offered in obedience to the Father’s will.”

This makes my blood boil.  The tumor that led to the inevitable death of Mrs. Maynard is the same that my mother was diagnosed with several months ago.  My mother was able to have the tumor excised, and radiation and chemo have extended her life, though we don’t know how long.  But before we knew she had a tumor, I witnessed firsthand some of the effects.  She was often disoriented — we thought she was developing Alzheimer’s — she was anxious, and she was unable to perform simple tasks she had carried out all her life.  It sounds like in Mrs. Maynard’s case, there were also seizures (which my mother may have had — she fell on a couple of occasions and doesn’t know how she got on the ground) and pain.

This condition is fatal.  My mother will die of it also, if something else doesn’t happen first; all we were able to do is buy her an undetermined amount of quality time, although the quality of her life has been seriously curtailed.

My mother would almost certainly not make a decision such as that of Mrs. Maynard.  But damn it anyway, if she chose to end her life on her own terms as an autonomous human being, shouldn’t she be afforded that right?

You see, there is a point — I saw this with my dad when he died of leukemia — when it is all down, down, down, with never an up.  There is nothing to look forward to.

So the Vatican wants to condemn people who choose to end their life before brain cancer takes everything from them, including their identity.  Let the pope die that way if he wants to, but it is none of their damn business what others choose to do.

And this business about sharing in the suffering of Christ?  What the hell is that?  I thought Christ suffered so we did not have to.  What a stinking crock of shit.

Christianity Used to Justify Child Abuse

Certainly everyone has heard that Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings has been indicted for child abuse.  Pictures of the child can be found online if anyone wants to see fisthand the severity of the abuse.  But what is also notable is that Peterson is using his version of Christianity to justify his despicable actions, and has even said that by interfering, the public is “usurping” God’s role.  So God was on Peterson’s side as he beat his four-year-old child with what has been described as a “switch,” causing injuries to the boys back, buttocks, legs, ankles, and scrotum, along with defensive wounds to the boys hands.

I am not accusing all Christians of endorsing such nonsense, but many fundamentalists do, and it makes me think that they are removed by a very small degree from Islamic fundamentalists.  If it had not been for cultural and historical forces such as the Enlightenment and the Rights Revolutions of the twentieth century, they would be exactly the same as their Muslim counterparts.

In any case, let’s hope the NFL does the right thing and starts to expel abusers, like Peterson and like Ray Rice, the Baltimore Ravens receiver who cold-cocked his then fiance, from the league.

I REALLY Don’t Like Stupid People

NatGeo Wild, an affiliate of National Geographic, is a fairly new channel I discovered, and quite possibly one of the last hold outs from the encroachment of reality shows onto educational networks (Nat Geo Wild does have two reality shows that I know of, but they both focus on veterinarians.)

One of their shows, “Stranger Than Nature” focuses on bizarre happenings in the natural world, such as the Sailing Stones of Death Valley.  The one I saw the other night focused on, among other things, the Montauk Monster.


Strange isn’t it?

This bizarre thingy washed up on the shores of–you guessed it!–Montauk, New York in July of 2008.  People were immediately freaked out by the appearance of this alien creature washing ashore mere miles from the Plum Island Animal Disease Research Lab, and many were positive that it was some kind of captured alien or mutant hybrid created by the government.

It’s a raccoon.

I want to be clear that “Stranger Than Nature” did not buy into the hysterical hype surrounding the beastie, they declared Case Closed at the end of the segment, and then moved onto a case about an elderly Swedish woman killed by a moose, but what got me were how many morons stepped forth to proclaim “I’ve never seen anything like this!”

Really, Gweedo?  Forgive me if I don’t take the word of a “Jersey Shore” reject seriously.

Even now, people look at the hairless corpse and beaky mouth and say “That ain’t no f**king raccoon!”  Blissfully unaware, I guess, that hair and the soft tissues of the mouth are some of the first things to go when a body decomposes.  “But wait, there’s more!” the dumbass witnesses paraphrasingly shout, “The corpse disappeared.  If it’s just a raccoon, why would someone take the body?”

Gee, good question.  What could possibly explain a body that washed up on shore suddenly vanishing?  Secret government agents?  Aliens?  Secret alien government agents?  Waves?

“No!  Not a raccoon!” they still shout, “Notta, notta, notta raccoon!”




Taking a Bite Out of Educational Television

Last year, the Discovery Channel stirred a firestorm–or maybe a Sharknado–of controversy with its docufiction “Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives,” which kicked off last year’s Shark Week.  As the title implies, this fake documentary posits “evidence” that the Megalodon, a truly gigantic shark that grew to over 60 feet in length and fed on whales 28 to 1.5 million years ago, is still alive and attacking rental boats off the coast of Africa.  With help from doctored photos, misinformation and actors, Discovery convinced millions of viewers that the largest ocean-going predator ever to walk…um…swim the Earth was back with a tourist munching vengeance.

Not to be outdone, they topped themselves with two more docufictions this year, “Megalodon: The New Evidence,” which reminds me forcefully of Animal Planet’s “Mermaids: The Body Found” and “Mermaids: The New Evidence,” and “Shark of Darkness: Wrath of Submarine,” which focuses on modern folklore of a 30-foot great white stalking the people of southern Africa.

The docubullcrap on Submarine was particularly chilling.  As with Megalodon, they treated the whole thing as a serious matter, even when claiming that this particular shark had learned how to prey almost exclusively on humanity by teaching itself to breath while holding still (so as to beat our sonar).  As obviously fake as that is, they once again fooled millions into thinking a giant shark with the mental sharpness of Sir Isaac Newton was stalking Africa’s “Shark Alley.”

So what are the facts?  Not many: it isn’t impossible that a great white shark could grow to thirty feet–the longest on record being twenty-three, keeping in mind that we don’t really know how big they can get–but the odds of a shark getting that large are rather unlikely.  As for Megalodon, it died long ago.  A mixture of climate change, competition from the newly evolved pack-hunting orcas, and a sudden drop in its prey stocks led to its downfall.  The mockumentaries claim that it could have moved into deep water to hunt giant squid–similar to the sperm whale–but there is no evidence Megalodon could even survive the pressure of those depths.  What’s more; Megalodon’s hunting grounds were tropical shallow seas, it would have had to evolve, not only a different physiology to hunt like this, but another personality as well.

Even if it did, if giant squid routinely wash up on shore, there’s no reason to believe a 60-100 foot shark wouldn’t.

Why am I so angry over this?  Because it’s the fucking Discovery Channel!  I know I shouldn’t have expected much, this being the same network that’s been overdosing on motorcycle mechanic and nudist Survivorman shows, but I couldn’t help but hope that at least freaking Shark Week would be free of bull-crap.

Well, we lost the History Channel, Animal Planet only runs truly educational television (like “Big Cat Diary” and “Crocodile Hunter”) early in the morning, and now Discovery is unapologetically citing ratings as an excuse to run bullshit (did I mention they were defending themselves for this blatant lying?) so I guess I’ll just have to accept that educational television is dead; it was killed by the cable network god called Ratings and its loyal followers, dumbass Americans.

More on Wacko Bob Frey

Recently I posted on Bob Frey, who is a candidate for state representative in a district near the Twin Cities.  Ed Brayton is apparently tracking this guy, and after recounting his comments about AIDS being caused by an enzyme (that by itself is enough to give Frey a spot in the pantheon of right wing idiots), Brayton has now posted audio of Frey claiming that “dinosaurs have always lived with people.”  Yes, I saw one just yesterday.  Geez — just what we need — a young earth creationist running for the legislature.  And I just can’t help it — I’ll give everyone one guess which political party this guy belongs to.

Another Homegrown Wacko

I was perusing Ed Brayton’s blog “Dispatches from the Culture Wars” this morning, and saw that he had a new and interesting piece with relevance to Minnesota.  Brayton points out that while Minnesota has a reputation for being quite progressive, its Republican citizens have a way of lending support to some real wackos, such as Michelle Bachman.  But Michelle may no longer be first among Minnesota’s signature idiots.  The GOP has found a new winner, a man named Bob Frey, who is running for state representative in Carver County.  Here is a quote from Brayton’s site (I don’t recall where the quote came from originally, but there are plenty of articles regarding Frey’s incredibly stupid views which turn up via a basic google search):

“But when questioned about his position on social issues, Frey added that it “does certainly need to be addressed for what it is. It’s not about the gay agenda but about the science and the financial impact of that agenda. It’s more about sodomy than about pigeonholing a lifestyle.”

Frey then explained his view: “When you have egg and sperm that meet in conception, there’s an enzyme in the front that burns through the egg. The enzyme burns through so the DNA can enter the egg. If the sperm is deposited anally, it’s the enzyme that causes the immune system to fail. That’s why the term is AIDS – acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.”

(This explanation of AIDS has no scientific validity, but it may strike a familiar chord: It is essentially the same one given by Bob’s son, Mike Frey, in testimony given before the House Civil Law Committee last year during the debate over gay marriage.)”

They just keep on coming.  It becomes increasingly difficult to see how any thinking person can vote for the Republican Party in its current configuration.

Stupidity Dies Hard

Despite the title of this post, I want to think that humanity is making progress, that as a civilization, we are becoming more enlightened.  But it is always sobering and more than a bit deflating when I come across something like this, as reported in the New York Times:

The Vatican has formally recognized the International Association of Exorcists, a group of 250 priests in 30 countries who say they liberate the faithful from demons. The Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano reported on Tuesday that the Vatican’s Congregation for Clergy had approved the organization’s statutes and recognized the group under canon law. More than his predecessors, Pope Francis speaks frequently about the devil, and last year was seen placing his hands on the head of a man purportedly possessed by four demons in what exorcists said was a prayer of liberation from Satan.”

When will humanity finally leave behind its superstitious infancy?